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  • Irate Grammarians Will See YOU in Court, Mister!

    KALAMAZOO, Michigan—A group of disgruntled grammarians calling themselves "Mad, We Are, As Hell" has filed a number of civil lawsuits over the past few weeks. The targets of these suits are writers, raconteurs, and professional man-in-the-street interviewees who, they claim, are inveterate...
    Posted to Lingua Techna (Weblog) by Paul on 03-14-2009
  • "Annoying" College Banished from Face of Earth

    SAULT STE. MARIE, MICHIGAN—With only a few hundred unbanished words left in the language, the rest of the English-speaking world has voted to banish Lake Superior State University from the face of the earth. The college, based in Sault Ste. Marie, Michigan, is famous for its annual Words Banished from...
    Posted to Lingua Techna (Weblog) by Paul on 01-07-2009
  • UN Establishes Vowel Relief Fund

    AIEA, Hawaii—Former United Nations Secretary General Boutros-Boutros Ghali and current United Nations Undersecretary for Alphabet Mobilization Yada-Yada Yada announced today the formation of the United Nations International Vowel Assistance Committee. UNIVAC's mandate is "to help the vowel-deprived...
    Posted to Lingua Techna (Weblog) by Paul on 10-16-2008
  • It's Official: Teen Instant Messages Nothing But Gibberish

    In a scathing report released today, communications experts have declared that the instant messages teenagers exchange with each other are in reality nothing but gibberish. U.S. Chatmaster General Todd Dood, with technical help from the National Security Agency, examined thousands of instant messages...
    Posted to Lingua Techna (Weblog) by Paul on 06-18-2008
  • Scientists Discover Elusive Soup-Nuts Continuum

    COPENHAGEN—Researchers from Aalborg University announced today that they have finally discovered the long sought-after Soup-Nuts Continuum. Scientists around the world have been searching for this elusive item ever since Albert Einstein's mother-in-law proposed its existence in 1922. "Today...
    Posted to Lingua Techna (Weblog) by Paul on 05-22-2008
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